Facing His Fist
So what does have to do with LuvaNuts. Well, another guy with the initials "T.H." is apparently a threat too. Mr. Terrence "Hit-a-woman" Howard was ordered Tuesday (12-6-2011) to stay 100 yards away from his estranged wife, Michelle Howard, who claims the Oscar-nominated actor consistently abused her throughout their short marriage, and even threatened to kill her.
Wait. This is "Mr. Whoop That Chick" from the 2005 motion picture Hustle and Flow that we are talking about. Yes, that soft-spoken and mild mannered guy may not have been stretching his acting skills as much as he let on. He voice gives evidence that he has some snap-ability. Doesn't it? Is he about the cry or start yelling like a bank robber? His voice is somewhat creepy.Back to the point. A wife beater. Not a white tank top that some guys randomly wear like its a real shirt... or like are waiting to be interviewed on the news to give some half-baked account of a crime that they witnessed. No, we are talking about a wife who was beaten, according to the court documents.
When asked about the situation, Mr. Howard seems to have a disconnect about the question. Mr. Howard runs around the question of his abusive ways faster than a Memphis pimp trying to get his money from one of his hookers.
"I live in constant fear of Michelle's endeavors to ruin my
reputation; even providing this declaration may well lead to my being
subjected to a paparazzi blitz which would not be good for my career,"
Howard wrote. Read more >>
What? This is the biggest "threat" that she presents to you. She could ruin your reputation? C'mon Son!! The question is not about the effect of your wife's accusations. It is about the merit of the accusations which seem to have even more validity based on this lame as response. You, sir, are a hit-a-woman type of fella. You need help.
Be careful Terrence. One of these days, somebody may stick up for your ex-wife or another unnamed woman who has faced your fist. And if they do stick up for these women, you might find yourself laying on the bathroom floor like Skinny Black (Ludacris)... black eye, a few bruises, a bloody mess, laying in piss with your willy wonka caught in your zipper.
And that's when paparazzi could ruin your career! Call it, payback.
TheNutsCracker@ LuvaNuts.com
"Be smart and strong enough to leave an abusive relationship."
Image credit: Getty Images.
No Boys Allowed
Who's responsible for sweeping these issues under the rug? How do you knowingly turn your back on a man who is abusing ANY child? Why do we find law enforcement and court rooms reluctant to stand on the side of our children and society instead of "settling" these issues quietly? When are we going to kick down these closet doors and reveal these skeletons?
In a recent interview with NBC's Bob Costas, Jerry Sandusky was asked directly: "Are you sexually attracted to underage boys?" Sandusky repeated the question, paused, and responded, "No. I enjoy young people."
TNC: Sandusky... YES you are a pedophile.For details about this story, Click Here.
A 48-year-old man, Gilbert Padilla was a former altar boy and filed a sexual molestation lawsuit stating that he was molested repeatedly by two priests in the 1970s.
The suit also names the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph and, as its representative, Bishop Robert Finn, who currently leads the diocese.
Finn was indicted last month on charges that he failed to promptly report pornography on the computer of a priest, Shawn Ratigan, later indicted on 13 counts of child pornography in a case that roiled Kansas City's Catholic community.
TNC: Why wait until you're 48?? And these priests, apparently think that their God does NOT know they are molesting boys or worshiping children in a sexual way. Who are they praying to?For details about this story, Click Here.
Megachurch leader, Bishop Eddie Long is still married today. However his wife Vanessa is finally waking up on the right side of "Obvious". She finally filed a petition for divorce Thursday in DeKalb County Superior Court to end her 21-year marriage to the embattled minister.
The split comes more than a year after allegations last year that Eddie Long used his lavish lifestyle and position of spiritual authority to lure four young men into sexual relationships. Eddie Long settled the cases but has never admitted to any wrongdoing.
TNC: Bishop this chess game is over. You should be so lucky not to face criminal investigation. But let's admit it, you have a tomb full of skeletons and you are getting off easy in this lifetime. Those boxers you're wearing seem to be made of gasoline though and your lucky number is 666.
For details about this story, Click Here.
Former longtime Syracuse assistant coach Bernie Fine is under investigation for child molestation.
TheNutsCracker
@LuvaNuts.com
"This cannot be accepted as normal. Unfortunately, the commonality of the occurrence is probably one secret to our sexual dysfunction as a society."
Blessed Bride Texts from Breast
WATCH THIS 30-SECOND VIDEO OF A BRIDE SENDING TEXT MESSAGES DURING HER WEDDING:
Observations and Assumptions by TheNutsCracker:
#1. She's not the first to text while being a bride-in-progress. This is completely acceptable for future divorcees, but less disrespectful if it was a courthouse wedding.
#2. Her ample cleavage seemed quite an obvious place to hide a phone, but it wouldn't be out of the question to think she actually had a hidden inside pocket sewn inside her dress.
#3. The minister is giving a blessing during the texting! Maybe the bride was responding to God.
#4. When her father notices, his facial expressions are classic. Was he thinking, "My daughter is going to hell for this."
#5. The father must have forgotten that he was holding her hand. He should've squeezed her left hand until she feel to her knees and dropped that device.
#6. If the minister saw what she was doing, it would've been nice for him to stop the blessing and just wait until he had her attention. Or he could've just stopped and said, "Never mind. I'll just send it by text?"
#7. If the person on the other end of the text conversation is so important, why aren't they actually present at the wedding?
#8. This seems like a backyard wedding of some sort, and in the background there is a big STOP sign. That would be a great still photo... the stop sign is between the father and daughter. It is almost a caption coming out of the father's mouth as he stares in disbelief at his daughter.
#9. If the bride isn't really "into" the wedding moment, can it really go "downhill" from there?
#10. An addiction is an addiction. This chick is a "Crackberry" addict on a low budget. The groom should've recognized this long before the wedding. And the bride should be standing in front of an addiction specialist.
TheNutsCracker
@ LuvaNuts.com
"Screw the wedding. Try a surprise intervention!"
Back to Single Life
Before "The Facebook" a person could easily define their relationship status quickly, cleverly, and discretely without backlash from an EX, curiosity from inquisitive friends/family, or being booted from the "friends with benefits program." Now a person's status must be a strategic part of a communications plan. Who you tell, how much you tell, when you tell, and what exactly you tell your FB friends seems to require a PR agent. One mistake could mean public humility, premature judgment or complete misunderstandings.
Read the screenshot below (hopefully you can see it):
Take for instance Mr. Kevin. After experiencing what seemed to be a disconnect from his fiancé Shannon, he decided to change his status from ENGAGED to SINGLE. What the hell is wrong with that? Hmmm... nothing at all, unless you are Shannon and you are still FB friends with Kevin. Even without naming who Kevin was engaged to, Kevin's FB friend Jessica and the other people who celebrated the engagement know saw the status change and commented. So changing his status was a broadcast message telling people that Shannon has either returned the ring, pawned it off, sold it on Craig's list, or thrown it into a large body of water to never be retrieved again.
Shannon's response to the status change was an obvious cry for "privacy" and a directive to Jess and all of Kevin's friends. (Surely she was emphasizing the "F*CK OFF" comment towards any and all of Kevin's female friends, right??). Notice the response from Kevin's friend Jon. He says, "Congrats dude!!" as the first response to Kevin's announcement. That's the same response that happens after a guy gets officially divorced (apparently). A single guy seems to be celebrated by other guys... whereas single women are often judged or consoled by other women.
So what have we learned from this simple screenshot saga of Kevin and Shannon...
We know love will drive us crazy, but "The Facebook" puts more "nuts" than a Snicker's bar in our relationships whether past, present or future.
We must be cautious about how we manage our relationship communications. It doesn't take much for a good thing to become spoiled and rotten like little girls in child beauty pageants (or any kid that has been shown on MTV's Sweet 16).
So in this light, TheNutsCracker is changing his writing status too. From Retired to Back in the Game ala Jordan and Jay-Z. Speaking of Jay-Z... hmmm should we address this baby with Beyonce??
TheNutsCracker
@ LuvaNuts.com
"Celebrating Freedom Friday with cocktails, but there will be no cake bashing like Jennifer on Season 3 of Basketball Wives."
Hoe Her Garden
So, true... but if she didn't know the value of her land,
maybe she was spending time climbing "whore trees"
to get a better perspective of how to please a man?
Can you blame her for trying? How else was she supposed
to learn when her mother kept sending her outside to
play with boys from the neighborhood instead of teaching
her about "the boys in her neighborhood" who want to
come on her land.
Banging guys on the way down shouldn't be condemned.
Falling for every guys just means you have a big heart.
Banging every guy just means you like to wrap your legs around
tree limbs. What woman doesn't like a strong limb...#lesbian.
Going down on every guy, now that's a different story.
That can lead to scraped knees, chapped lips and
possibly salty swallows. But only your girlfriends will
condemn you for this. #shessuchaslut But don't worry.
They're just mad because you've seen more "johnsons"
than a Southern Baptist church.
Hmmm... this is unfortunate. But if it can't be cleared,
maybe it can be viewed. VIEW HISTORY could be
worth a lot of money. #pornstar
For women that have money and a little bit of fame,
they can do all of these things... be bad to "the bone"
and yet they don't get called outta their name.
What's the difference?
We love celebrity LuvaNuts. You know there are plenty of promiscuous celebrity women who have bumps and bruises from those whore trees.
TheNutsCracker
@ LuvaNuts.com
"If there was a forrest of whore trees, would that be Vegas??"
Teaching our daughters
AS SEEN ON FACEBOOK:
We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between:
A man that flatters her and a man that compliments her….
A man that spends money on her and a man that invests in her.
A man that views her as property and a man that views her properly.
A man that lusts after her and a man that loves her.
A man that believes he is God’s gift to women and a man that remembers a woman was God’s gift to man…
And teach our boys to be that kind of a man…
AS CHOPPED AND SCREWED BY THENUTSCRACKER:We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between:
A man that is interested in her versus a man that solely wants to see her naked.
A man that is protective of her versus a man that will stalk her and hide her body in the woods if she smells like she's had a conversation with another man.
A man that is honest and sincere versus a man who is sincerely "Sorry" all the damn time.
A man that has property versus a man who treats her like property to be used, abused, and misused.
A man who loves to see her coming and going versus a man who was already coming before she "got going." #earlyswimmers.
A man who appreciates women on every level versus a man who tries to depreciate a woman below his level.
A man who loves and respects his mother versus just another motherf*cker. #truth.
TheNutsCracker
@LuvaNuts.com
"Feels good to be back."
The Return of TheNutsCracker
Designing Woman and Defender
Wendi Murdoch (formerly Deng) was a great student and champion volleyball player. Deng had enrolled in Guangzhou Medical College by the age of 16. (Medical College at 16???)
Her ticket out of China came in 1987, when she met a Los Angeles couple, Jake and Joyce Cherry. Cherry, then 50, was working in Guangzhou, helping the Chinese to build a factory to make freezers for food-processing plants. The Cherrys' interpreter told them of a young woman who was looking for help with her English. Joyce Cherry, then 42, began tutoring Wendi Deng.
The Cherrys sponsored Deng's bid for a student visa and agreed to put her up until she had established herself. By then 19-years-old, Deng arrived at the Cherry US home in February of 1988. She shared a bedroom and bunk beds with her hosts' five-year-old daughter.When Joyce Cherry was sick and the married couple struggled, Wendi Deng began having an affair with Jake Cherry! (She was sexing up her sponsor!)
Joyce Cherry kicked Deng out, and her husband was soon to follow. He moved into a nearby apartment with Deng, who had enrolled at California State University at Northridge, a commuter college in the San Fernando Valley. The Cherrys divorced, and Jake Cherry married Deng in February 1990.
Well that didn't last, because Wendi "Cherry" found a young "stud" in his mid-twenties, David Wolf, to be her next bridge. While staying married to the 53-year old Jake Cherry, she continued seeing Wolf despite being discovered and reconciling with Jake.
Divorce records filed with the Los Angeles County Superior Court show that the Cherry-Deng marriage lasted two years and seven months. Yep, 7 months longer than it took her to get a Green Card. With card in hand, she was official and on the prowl.
Next thing you know, she's making babies and massaging the aging heart of Rupert Murdoch to become the heiress to a fortress of old money.
Regardless of whether or not you see her as a gold digger for hunting down the heart of an old billionaire bad boy, TheNutsCracker can say she's obviously ambitious. She's almost symbolic of how China as a nation is taking over the United States. So Wendi's defense of her man is certainly not in jest. That move is clearly commendable. But when you look at her history... would YOU TRUST HER?
While TheNutsCracker is not sure how much contact she made, she definitely tried to SPIKE that guy (or chick)! The irony of it all: If Joyce Cherry would've taken the same approach, she could've and should've slapped the hell outta Wendi from the very beginning. Maybe an old-fashioned ass kicking would have been a great way to introduce Wendi to the consequences of using people and breaking up families.
TheNutsCracker
@LuvaNuts.com
"How do you spell Opportunistic?"
I need a doctor
Navigating the halls of Delray Medical which were bustling with nursing staff, the journey is sobering. Every 7 or 8 rooms, a physician would make an occasional cameo appearance doing their Morning Rounds. Hopefully the visitor sticker on my chest was like a billboard that said, “Your help is not needed here, continue as you were.” TheNutsCracker tried not to make too much eye contact.
My destination, patient room 9B, was coming up. The door was wide open and swallowing any pride TheNutsCracker had left… it was time to go in. With a get well card and two mylar balloons in hand, TheNutsCracker walked in to visit one of his closest friends.
The hospital was nearing its capacity and most of the patients had roommates. My friend was no different, but her roommate was a beautiful woman named Tonya being looked after by some well-dressed actor type guy. Tonya just received notice that she would be discharged under home health nursing care service today. Her boyfriend looked at Tonya like he wanted to scoop her off that bed, walk her out of that hospital, and fly away like Superman. His face seemed familiar to TheNutsCracker, but it was easier to wonder how Tonya found her way into a hospital bed in the first place.
She looked like a strong go-getter trapped against her will in a slow-paced environment that was trying to suck her spirit through a slurpee straw. Her toes were freshly painted and peeking from under the pale gray hospital sheets. Either her man was massaging her feet or she had a mani/pedi between nursing visits. Her southern voice was gentle, yet bold enough to make any man respond to her demands. With that voice and those looks, he was probably licking her toes before TheNutsCracker arrived. Fetish!
Tonya was apparently from the same ‘Hood as my friend, who was embarrassed to see me. Stepping to her beside “Hey,” is all TheNutsCracker could muster despite the long absence. With no reply from my friend, TheNutsCracker sat the card and balloons down next to her beside and tried not to stare at the life support machine. “Um, so… let me just say that…” (Pausing to take a deep breath). TheNutsCracker continued, “Let me just say that you were not abandoned. Things got hectic. Life happened, ya know. I mean, it wasn’t intentional. I had no reason to leave you for dead. I just got involved with my girlfriend and work has been, well… the bills keep stacking up… You know what? It’s my fault. I’m sorry.” (Shaking my head). “I’m sorry!” TheNutsCracker stammered incoherently.
For a well-spoken individual, TheNutsCracker was giving half-baked thoughts that were handed out like twice baked potatoes at a Costco sampling stand. No response was needed from my friend, Writing Skill.
Ms. Writing Skill was on life support since the beginning of May. She had not been fed, exercised and had not been put to work in a long time. Her muscles were weak and her sight was fading. She laid in the bed begging for my attention and disappointed in my distraction. TheNutsCracker grew up with Ms. Writing Skill and never planned to abandon her. She was one of my first loves. There was no excuse to leave her behind. That’s not the commitment that we had to one another. It was time to make amends. TheNutsCracker is the only doctor that can bring my Writing Skills back to life. Crazy but true. And this whole thing… is just LuvaNuts.
TheNutsCracker
"Bring Me Back to Life"
Bacon vs True Love
TheNutsCracker recognizes a fellow writer and satirist who seems to be
able to do one thing TheNutsCracker cannot do... artistically draw
hilarious visuals to compliment his stories. So instead of writing a
brand new entry about some random issues with love, let's take a look at
TheOatmeal. Yes, I said it. TheOatmeal.TheOatmeal has cleverly cooked up "6 Reasons Bacon is Better Than True Love" and guess what... it smells like LuvaNuts!
You gotta have "some crazy" in you to pick bacon over true love, right? Depends on who you ask. Hell, it depends on how much bacon you can eat! Either way, it is a compelling story of choices.
Take a look. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/bacon_love
Congratulations to TheOatmeal.
TheNutscracker
@ LuvaNuts.com
"Shut Up! More Bacon Plz"
